Thursday, August 1, 2013

Games being rained off

When I was a teenager, one of the best things that could happen to me was that games would be rained off.

It wasn't so much that I didn't like sport then (although I wasn't really crazy about sport then), it was more that it meant that something you were supposed to be doing, you didn't have to do. I would never have had the guts to bunk off at school, and this was the closest I got to unanticipated freedom, and I loved it, even if it meant sitting in a classroom and doing your homework. I guess the adult equivalent is having a meeting unexpectedly postponed -- that's always a good day.

Anyway, I thought this particular upside of rainy weather had ended when I left school. But now, with a 6 year old getting into the Gaelic games of football and hurling, and me having to take turns watching  -- and even, God help the future of Cork GAA, helping out -- that particular hope is back again.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Who needs 62 hour deodorant?

I have a roll-on deodorant that promises 62 hour protection. I am now worried I am not using my personal hygiene products to their full potential. I spend a lot of time thinking about these products, I'm not sure why, perhaps because they're located near showers and lavatories, places that encourage thinking.

But anyway, I've had 24 hour deodorants, and I've tested them to the full extent of their claims. I may even have put the 48 hour deodorant through its paces by possibly forgetting to apply on a busy morning (I work from home by myself, so don't worry no-one was harmed by these clinical trials).

But 62 hours? Where is this useful? Who is not going through their morning showering routine for 3 solid days?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Apprentice Final

I spend a lot of time pondering the Apprentice, not least why I watch a show involving people I largely hate. But lately it's been on two things, the format, and the latest winner.

Now the prize is a business partnership rather than a job the whole point of the series has been removed, and it's just a lot of smoke and mirrors to the final. From pretty much week one, whose getting fired? The person with the crap business plan. Who gets picked from the interviews? Business plan. How you do on tasks, whether or not you're an arse (I mean, the degree to which you're an arse, there's never been a contestant who doesn't share 98% of their DNA with an arse), how hard you're going to work, these things are entirely irrelevant, because he's not looking for an employee any more. HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR AN APPRENTICE.

The first 11 weeks are an entire waste of time, and I always get caught up and forget that until the end, and the show turns in to Dragon's Den. I guess the end has always been disappointing, because, like all reality shows, they have to make the finalists look like decent human beings rather than the halfwits they are, but still...

Anyway, this year's winner bothered me:

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Pop music

Since our two boys have started getting into pop music, I've found myself getting back into pop music too. Strangely enough, I'm not so grumpy about it any more. It's almost as if it's not that important...But anyway, despite this, I was pleased to realise I can still get a little het-up about the lyrics to songs you're probably not supposed to spend too much time listening to the words to.

Exhibit One: Call Me Maybe by Carly Simon Jensen Button or whatever her name is. Now, I like the idea of this song. Let's face it, asking someone out is nerve-wracking and, although she takes the easy route by handing over her number, rather than facing the more immediate face-to-face awkwardness of asking for a number and getting a refusal which often offends, she's at least put herself out there. If 'here's my number'  had been an option ahead of 'could I have your number' for guys when I was young and single, I would have spent many happy years sitting at home and waiting for calls that would never happen from women I'd foisted my number upon at parties before I sauntered off (OK, scampered away before they could give it back).

But the point is, she's been cool, sassy, and well done her. But then, in the song's bridge, she completely blows it.

Here's how I imagine her telling her friends about what happened: